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03 February 2017 @ 11:41 pm
I don't want a back wracked w/ pain,
I want to stack gats w/ shame.

You can't eat pot,
they won't get shot,
when they run up, if I don't have a gun up.

It's important to eat better than the bandit meat.
You're nicer, so put down the spice, sir,
you won't get fat from herbs.

This may be the last day we can ever procure food.
18 June 2015 @ 12:20 pm
I have allegiances to the phoenix kids,
their bleeding lips are wrapped up is a smile.
We don't know much but it's not defiled.

I have issues like a Doctor's office has tissues.
Your big shoe is full of puke. This is a rebuke:
you play too much.

The face is broken. The base is smoking.
Cancer for everyone within the day.
Rome is stolen, light the way.
24 April 2015 @ 07:34 pm
dead baby birds.
The long cold has killed them,
i can still hear their songs.
lept, wept, sent to a place of lesser or greater warmth

Our bones look like twigs, our hjearts are our enemies,
a baby bird on this sidewalk, another one over there.
I'm a dead baby bird. Never grew up, still sings good.
22 April 2015 @ 07:36 pm
erase the creator
edit origin story
awaken extra monsters
time this out perfect

Severed spines drag themselves up her steps
upon her throne, a jeweled crown
the pelvis on heaven is thrust downwards upon you

the earth holds you down
i hold you down
everything you think is
ruin and lies

reverse the scene
backward and upside down
in the edits
everyone you have ever know
waits eagerly
with the
worst breath
you can even imagine
11 April 2015 @ 10:58 pm
Day whatever.
This morning, i found out a friend from junior high school died two days ago.

Two years ago she visited with another close friend from that time, i had not seen her in decades. She nodded out at dinner, i had an anaphylactic reaction to my curry and ran to the bathroom to vomit. That was the last day and hour of our visit. I never saw her again.

22 years ago she told me that a mutual acquaintance had raped her, i went to his house and
beat him bloody, tossed him into his TV, left him with my shoeprint on his face. That night his dad drove around South Arlington looking for me with his shotgun riding shotgun.
My friend told me during that last visit that what i did was the most meaningful thing anyone had done for her in her life. It obviously had not been enough. Her life had been one of the most painful i have ever known. Disability, ridicule, addiction, and abuse that never ended.
I would waste that scumbag rapist again if i could today, i will look for him in my dreams (qlippothic oneiros). Another thing: I REMEMBER which kids used to shit talk on her in school, just for being born different. I will look for them too, however pathetic and pointless.

Last year she sent me a facebook message and it took me way too long to respond. When i did, she never got back to me... and now she's gone. Fail. Loser. (Robot Terror) couldn't do no better.

Still hope i get to see her in whernever, embedded in dimensional machinery, squirming into higher frequencies of prayer, i promise you all i will remember her face.
RIP Julie Grabill. If i could do it all over i would do better, i hope to see you again.
11 April 2015 @ 10:55 pm
Path of greatest resistance
artifice of conflict; attack
Attach to their last aerie of avarice
begin warworld
bug the fuck out and finally die
in a citadel
no angels or buddhas
may enter

ornamental entrails
read your future in filth
magic monkey
your cancerous cock
cannot become unhard

echoes or fear and smashed windows
from the past,
Adder god
complexifies as the labyrinth grows-
right fang on the left wall

asshole god
black souls for all white men
judgement sinks into our pores
Somehow, you're wrong. Just
for being born. Just
for being bored enough to
ruin lives to fill the void.
This pit shifts and sinks
as the pitch grows higher.
09 April 2015 @ 10:46 pm
This storm will continue until change is made.
Sensations will not improve on their own.
Believing others aren't people is the lynchpin of this first, tired machine.
Change this and it's death will mercifully descend.

This stone wont roll until you polish it.
The relief won't begin until the fever breaks.
Night will not begin until the monkey ends his howl.
We do not learn well from blunt force trauma... we find fear, but not much else.
02 April 2015 @ 08:44 pm
They think they can win by soaking in sin.
By cloaking the twinge of conscience from friends.
From wolves, from the damned, but their emotions are bent.
And no potion or incantation can save them from that.
02 April 2015 @ 02:02 am
This winter, my shins were splintered by cold,
with plenty of envy for the brave and the old,
the sentries had sent me letters o plenty,
pleading me to stop being so fucking friendly,
with the same old diseases, pleasures, and husks,
the fact that if pleases me to rush back to dust.
I sent them an empty envelope in reply,
to say: i'm happy, get at me, i'll fly or i'll die.