This morning, i found out a friend from junior high school died two days ago.
Two years ago she visited with another close friend from that time, i had not seen her in decades. She nodded out at dinner, i had an anaphylactic reaction to my curry and ran to the bathroom to vomit. That was the last day and hour of our visit. I never saw her again.
22 years ago she told me that a mutual acquaintance had raped her, i went to his house and
beat him bloody, tossed him into his TV, left him with my shoeprint on his face. That night his dad drove around South Arlington looking for me with his shotgun riding shotgun.
My friend told me during that last visit that what i did was the most meaningful thing anyone had done for her in her life. It obviously had not been enough. Her life had been one of the most painful i have ever known. Disability, ridicule, addiction, and abuse that never ended.
I would waste that scumbag rapist again if i could today, i will look for him in my dreams (qlippothic oneiros). Another thing: I REMEMBER which kids used to shit talk on her in school, just for being born different. I will look for them too, however pathetic and pointless.
Last year she sent me a facebook message and it took me way too long to respond. When i did, she never got back to me... and now she's gone. Fail. Loser. (Robot Terror) couldn't do no better.
Still hope i get to see her in whernever, embedded in dimensional machinery, squirming into higher frequencies of prayer, i promise you all i will remember her face.
RIP Julie Grabill. If i could do it all over i would do better, i hope to see you again.